For women entering their freshman year of college, this often means going through sorority recruitment. At least, this is what it meant for me. As a child of two Greek parents (meaning my mom was in a sorority and my dad in a fraternity, not that they’re from Greece), participating in sorority recruitment was something I had always planned on doing. However, after recruitment, I was not a member of a Greek organization. I’m very happy I decided not to go Greek, but I’m also happy I went though the process.

It’s important to remember that each school handles its Greek system differently, and each chapter of a certain sorority is different. At my school, for example, there are only three sororities and none of them have residential houses, only lounges. Because each school and chapter (and woman!) is so unique, houses can vary a lot from school to school.

Because each school does recruitment differently, it usually involves different activities, open houses, and parties. For mine, as recruitment progresses the parties become more selective until a certain number of the women are invited to pledge a single sorority and receive a bid. While the process can seem overwhelming, complicated, and daunting as you go though it, all you really have to do is trust the system.

This is something I was told over and over by my recruitment advisors, who are Greek women who conceal their affiliations during recruitment in order to provide unbiased guidance to women going though it. It really is true. When I went though, there was one house I wanted to pledge. When I didn’t get an invitation to the final party, I was pretty bummed. While I got an invitation to another organization’s party, I hadn’t really felt any strong connection with the women in that house. Because of this, I withdrew myself.

To be honest, I was pretty bummed for a while after recruitment; most of my friends (I will point out I had known these people for about a week prior to recruitment) had pledged the house I wanted to join. But you have to think about recruitment as kind of like dating. You both have to want each other for it to work out. Looking back, I’m so glad I’m not in the sorority I originally wanted. While I love my friends who are members, that sorority isn’t for me; Greek life isn’t for me. But, when you’re new at university and all you want is to be accepted, it is sometimes hard to see that truth.

So don’t get bummed out if you don’t get a bid from your top choice sorority. To put it in dating terms, if they don’t want you, you’re probably not a good fit there anyway! And don’t join a sorority you don’t like just to be in a sorority. There are TONS of other ways to get involved on campus that will be better suited for you.

I’m so glad I went though recruitment because I met and made friends with so many amazing women. It was a wonderful way to meet upperclassmen as well as bond with other freshmen. However, I’m also glad I followed my heart, trusted the system, and didn’t pledge a sorority when none of them were right for me.

Written by Caroline Slavin
Follow her on Twitter @hpcaro!