The Get-You-Wasted VICE Presidential Debate Drinking Game!
Did you watch the first presidential debate last week? (Chances are, you did: it was the most watched debate in decades.) Controversy continues over who “won” the first presidential debate of the 2012 election, whether Obama was asleep for some of the debate or all of the debate, and the fate of Big Bird. Also controversial: if discussing the fate of Big Bird was more important than several other topics that didn’t get any airtime..such as women’s rights! (You can guess our answer…)
Whether you watched the candidates walk all over debate moderator PBS’s Jim Lehrer or not, now you have your chance to hear the vice presidential candidates (Democrat Joe Biden and Republican Paul Ryan) discuss in their own words their plans for helping run the United States. Tonight is the night that they try to make the case that their running mate is the best man to lead America. We’re talking about domestic and foreign policy, everybody. (That means everything’s on the table. Obviously we’ll hear about some big issues–the economy! Libya! Big Bird!–but what else?) There’s only one vice presidential debate, so this is your only chance to see Uncle Joe Biden and Paul “Wacky Ties” Ryan go head-to-head! (There are three presidential debates.)
While watching Biden and Ryan battle it out on your favorite news station (Fox News, of course), take a drink when any of the following occurs:
1. If Ryan wins the coin toss.
2. When Biden mentions Amtrak or trains.
3. If Ryan’s American flag pin is bigger than Biden’s.
4. When Biden mentions coming from a poor background, becoming rich and embodying the American Dream.
5. When moderator Martha Raddatz does a better job moderating than Lehrer. (Careful, though–theoretically this might mean you would have a constant flow of booze into your mouth if you stick closely to this one.)
6. When Biden mentions how close he is to President Obama. (Physically? Emotionally? Who knows…but if you watched his convention speech, you know he’s close.)
7. When either candidate references a conversation they had with a regular old American just like you. Double drink if that person is from Ohio, Colorado, or Florida, or the other swing states.
8. When Ryan flip-flops on his affiliation with anti-women’s rights legislation.
9. When Biden makes a subtly veiled reference to Ryan lying about his marathon time.
10. When Ryan refers to the sanctity of life.
12. When Biden mentions gay marriage, or everyone having the right to love.
11. When Biden talks about his wife’s career (or Paul Ryan tries to downplay his wife’s career.)
Some other fun ideas:
If you’re watching at home, why not make two different drinks, one red, and one blue? Every time Paul Ryan says something you agree with, take a sip from red drink. Every time Joe Biden says something you agree with, take a sip from the blue. We call this the “At-Home Perception Analyzer dial” (you know, that little favorable/unfavorable graph they kept on the screen during the last debate). At the end, see which one’s emptier–this will be particularly helpful for undecided voters. In fact, it might be more fun to get rid of the electoral college and use this to vote in new administrations. (And maybe more fair?)
There are strict rules for how long each candidate gets to speak. When they start going over the limit, or speaking out of turn, start chugging. Don’t stop until they stop. No matter what. Even if they never stop talking. Keep. Chugging.
Time how long you can go without yelling at your television. Can you make it to ten minutes? If you can’t, take a shot. If you can–well, we’ll cross that bridge when we never come to it.
Just get drunk! Democracy should be fun, right? Then go watch Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly go head-t0-head and wish that presidential/vice-presidential debates would also feature lifts, podium-climbing, and lap-sitting.
Game created by Feminspire writers Cleo McClintock, Alicia Perez, Savannah Thomas, and Lauren Slavin, and Feminspire editor Jess Mary Aloe.