Ever wanted to make your sex life a little more misandrist? Of course you have!
Here we have the top ten tips and tricks for sexy, mind-blowing misandry, from our friend Kitty at the Misandrist Sex Tips blog on Tumblr:
10. A good way to break the ice is to show him that you two have things in common. If a random dude grabs your ass and tells you that he just couldn’t help himself, rip his eyes from their sockets to show him that you lack self-control sometimes as well.
9. If he’s been pestering you to give oral, tell him to shut the fuck up. Sit on his face to ensure he does so.
8. As you’re seducing him, tell him in your most sultry voice exactly where you think he should shove his privilege.
7. This one works great both in bed and out on the town: keep a spray bottle on hand at all times (filled with water, of course. Or maybe something that destroys tissue). The minute a guy steps out of line, spritz his face repeatedly and say, in a stern tone, “NO. Bad. Bad boy. NO.”
6. Try taking an erotic bubble bath together in a tub full of his male tears.
5. Men are to be fucked, not heard.
4. Remember: if he can’t cook or clean, and he can’t make you cum, he’s probably completely useless.
3. Tell him that a man’s proper place is with his face between your thighs.
2. If he tries to suggest new ideas for your bedroom romps, remind him that he doesn’t have any input. Then tell him shut up, lay down, and start thrusting.
1. This, above all: you are a goddess. Fucking you is a privilege. So make sure your guy worships you accordingly.
***All tips are copyright of Misandrist Sex Tips and may not be reproduced or used for profit without the specific permission of MST. The blog is purely a satirical one, and only supports violence as a last resort for self-protection.***
Thanks to MST for sharing their top 10 tips with us! Make sure to check them out and follow the blog on Tumblr!